♪ "Weather the Weather" ♪

Not only am I fan of The Postmarks song "Weather the Weather," I also am a fan of the weather.

So much so that I've actually considered "going back to school" to become a meteorologist.

This week at BGSU's annual Learning Fair hosted by the Study Skills Center, I was beyond ecstatic to meet the one & only "Blizzard" Bill Spencer, Toledo's fabulous local meteorologist.

Blizzard Bill talked with first-year students about his job experiences and shared with them the benefits of "not giving up, no matter what." I was kinda jealous of the way the students were memorized by him. If only I had that kind of magic in the classroom...However, my spouse has been been sucked up into a tornado and I've been the only person in a tv station during a tornado.

As you can see, tornadoes played a big part in his presentation.

Here are some other highlights I jotted down:

On moving from ABC from NBC: "They're into theme parks, not strip malls."

Why Toledo: "Because Toledo is where the weather action is."

On his first wife: "A tornado sucked my first wife into its funnel. After that our relationship was never the same."

On chasing tornadoes: "Being on scene 30 seconds after a tornado is the one memory that stays with me. Seeing people's lives spread all around the neighborhood and them crying, devastated by their losses, motivates me to be the best weatherman I can be."

His talk was the highlight of my week, especially because the weather has been so boring here: sunny and 70s every day.

I could use a good storm.

Some local weather drama would be nice.

The Partial Summer To Do List

Schedule Dentist Appointments -- Check.

Clean Lawn Furniture -- Check.

Yoga every morning -- Check.

Twitter & convince everyone to join Twitter -- 1/2 Check.

Why and Later Poetry Reading/ Alicia’s Voice Benefit Yoga Classes Promo -- 1/2 Check.

Two Review review -- 1/2 Check.

Puppy Playdates.

Puppy Classes & Training.

CheeBurger CheeBurger date w/ FD.

Shop for Mother’s Day, Father's Day, and birthday cards.

Why and Later Poetry Reading/ Alicia’s Voice Benefit Yoga Classes.

Revolver din-din with Car, FD, me, and a special guest.

Rilo Kiely w/ Stokey!

CTLT Clicker Training Sessions.

Cedar Point for my bday! Yay!

June 18 Alicia’s Voice Golf Outing – JOIN US!

Harbor Grand meet-up with KA. Yay!

Visit families and friends!

ENG 110 syllabus and lesson plans.

READ (about 150 books / 1 down) & post book reviews.

WRITE (as many essays or poems as possible.)

WATCH TV.

WATCH MOVIES.

Catch Up on Gossip Blogs & FAFA.

Nap.

Do “things” not on any to-do list (i.e. be adventurous and spontaneous!)

My Pic Says It All

More blog action to come soon and more often...

Emotional Rollercoaster

I've been experiencing this weird inner-debate regarding blogs.

I think sometimes I'm too honest, too raw, too revealing and I think, "Maybe it's time to just write about tv shows or current events or about poetics."

Then I think, "God, that sounds boring and useless..."

With having a public blog, one MUST realize that assholes read one's life events and make fun of them. But I know these assholes do this probably b/c they don't have the guts or creativity to honestly write about their true human experience.

I'm just telling it like it is...

And yesterday held yet another embarrassing experience I feel compelled to blog about. Because I honestly don't care about said assholes and why should I write about boring useless crap anyone can find anywhere else on the web?!

Yesterday I bawled in front of our dog trainer after class.

It was the first time I felt like one of my students, totally. I felt like one of the students who's fabulous but f'ed one little thing on the Works Cited page or didn't develop one small idea more fully and came to office hours to figure out how to do better but ended up crying for no explainable reason and then who got mad at herself for crying and acting "stupid."

Yep, that was me yesterday.

Yesterday, I first almost lost it at the vet. BooBoo is yet again on meds for his crazy-sensitive tummy. He can't have any motivator food besides his dog food, Nutro and Paul Newman's treats, carrots, and green beans. Knowing we had puppy class that night I sunk; with steak and cheese and BooBoo will do anything with no fear and focus on me totally. It was the first day of obstacle course puppy class. F*#$!

I pulled it together to collect the best-112-class-ever's portfolios and give them tons of hugs.

But on the way home, I teared up, thinking about how badly I'm going to miss that class. I heart them dearly.

But I pulled it together again to chop up carrots and beans for BooBoo, get him in the car, drive him to Holland, and get his excited big butt into the puppy class building. I felt calm and assertive UNTIL he started pulling me everywhere. He needed to say "Hi!" to his fellow classmates and their owners. He needed to say "Hi!" to our trainer's new assistant. He needed to say "Hi!" to the toys. That crazy BooBoo.

But then when it was time to start working, he wouldn't do it. Well, he would when he wanted to. The whole time it was me trying to get him to focus on me, him trying to interrupt the other pups' training to play, me trying to again to get him to focus on me, him focusing for a second then leaping towards the toys. And it was back and forth like that for an hour. He did play REALLY well with the other dogs this time, but I just couldn't take him not responding to me. At home, he's by my side all the time; he's my little buddy. But at school, he's too cool for me.

All this reminded me of the HELL I put my parents through in high school. Oy! [eye roll]

After class, I was overcome by memories of being a teen, BooBoo's crazy behavior, BooBoo being sick again, and whatever else, and I just lost it.

The best is, though, this is what I said to our trainer when I started to sob: "I'm so frustrated! He's not like this at home. At all. Or when we go visit places. I don't get it. Being a teen is so hard nowadays. How do they do it? This week has been so hard. Today is so hard. end of the semester is here and I've been grading like mad. Do you understand source synthesis and MLA? Sometimes I feel like I don't either! I miss my students already. And what if Brooke leaves Idol tonight? Oh, and my allergies."

AND WHAT IF BROOKE LEAVES IDOL TONIGHT? WTF?

If I was our trainer, as a person, I would definitely think I was having a nervous breakdown.

But then again, as a teacher, I saw myself as one stressed-out kid who needs a break. A LONG summer break.

When we got home FD was worried b/c I was 45 minutes late, BooBoo acted as a freakshow host butt-tucking all around the house, and I was a crying mess. Still.

And I cried well through Brooke being safe on Idol. Clear up until I cried myself to sleep.

Really what jackass wants to admit this nutso-ness on the internet? No one in their right mind!

Or maybe, just maybe, someone who isn't afraid to share the true human experience.

In my case, maybe a little of both...

~

An after-thought posted on April 25:

I dearly love the blogs I do read and link to on my posts and props column. Said assholes are random peeps I'm paranoid about...I've pissed off many people in my 30 years...

I See the Light. Finally.

In about one week, all of you will be able to enjoy the wonderful blogging of yours truly BECAUSE I WILL BE ON SUMMER BREAK!

Right now, I'm grading my little heart out.

So much so these words don't really look like words any more...And the numbers that are grades just aren't adding up. For reals. I totally jacked up one of my classes and gave them all the wrong grades. Then I had to take back those grades and give them their real grades. How do you like that for Just Kidding?...

I'm a Class A Moron, just like my boy Jackie D...

Until next week, relish in this thought:

Kristy Lee Cook is GONE from American Idol and all is right with the world of reality tv again.

[sigh]

Snippets of My Sunday Morning Convo with EJ, My 5yr Old Niece, While Playing Barbies

EJ: "I didn't know you were a teacher."

Me: "Yah, I teach writing to college students."

EJ: "Should college students know how to write by now?"

~

Me: "What other American Girl doll accessories do you need?"

EJ: "The bed for Emma (her AG doll.) The Bathtub for Coconut. Some new clothes...Being a mother is really expensive."

~

Me: "How old are you going to be this year?" (I knew the answer.)

EJ: "6."

Me: "Do you know how old I'm going to be?"

EJ: Shakes her head.

Me: "Old."

EJ: "Well, I told you my age. Now you have to tell me your age."

Me: "31. Is that old?"

EJ: "No, but you don't look or act 31. You act a lot younger."

The Frustrated With & The Thankful For

I really like to appear happy-to-lucky on my blog. Which is why I haven't posted anything lately.

Then I realized it's stupid to only post "good things," as Martha says. And posting my frustrations helped me see what I am thankful for and to rethink my priorities. That's always a "good thing."

So here's me at one of my more honest internet moments. And believe me the internet could use more of those moments. (That's a whole other blog post about the internet as PR, etc. etc. More soon on that.)

Frustrated with:

1.) Students who obviously don't give a shit about their education. Why waste the money? Drop out of school if it's so f***ing easy or f***ing hard.

2.) Online Teaching. I love it. Don't get me wrong. But what I don't love is all this bullshit about how upcoming online classes (like the ones I created) "overuse" technology. Resistant students, teachers, dept. heads, deans and all those other people scared of new technologies because they don't understand any of them and aren't willing to use any themselves need to stop campaigning against them and get on board by taking an online class or teaching an online class. The future is next year and technology is part of it--online or f2f. Ask any 18 year old. Now go ask a 10 year old. Then a 5 year old. BOOYA!

3.) Kristy Lee Cook. Seriously, how long can her untalented ass hang by a thread? Ramielle is going home tonight. Ugh.

4.) Never having enough time.

5.) Myself. Seriously, I know I need to let go of these frustrations and control what I can by making more time, voting more for David A, David C, & Carlye so Kristy Lee goes home, holding development sessions in my program to show how new technologies work and what they are good for, and accepting the fact that some students don't care and never will so they earn the NP and become someone else's problem.

Thankful for:

1.) My husband

2.) My puppy

3.) My awesome students ( you know who you are!)

4.) My morning free to blog, go to the rec, and read something other than essays.

5.) The two HKs in my life: Hello Kitty and Hell's Kitchen. We know by now about my love for Hello Kitty. The other HK, namely Gordon Ramsey, always makes me feel better. Or least justified in being frustrated.

Props to Fox for the pic.

A Little More Hello Kitty Obessed than Usual

Because I don't already have enough to do and I seemingly lost my mind this semester, I'm writing an 8-10 page Researched Essay with my ENG 112 classes.

And you guessed it: mine's on Hello Kitty. I'm speculating causes of HK's popularity among grown-up women in the USA.

While researching I discovered one possible cause of her popularity: her mouthlessness.

Several of my sources claimed she was popular because her mouthlessness is like a mirror. Fans of HK can project their feelings on to her, and suddenly HK is feeling the same way as them.

I like this theory.

But what seems most accurate to it is that most pet owners do the same thing. I can't tell you how many times my little Bleu is happy, sad, frustrated, excited, yadda, yadda, yadda because I'm projecting my emotions onto him, even though he has a mouth. My little pet is my mirror.

And, for me, HK is my little pet in many ways too...

Kinda A Little (OK A Lot) "Creepy" with Many Quotation Marks Involved

Meet Prada Eames, my Second Life avatar.

My label whoreness=Prada.

My love of L&O CI=Eames.

I've been flying around Second Life, and I get it. But I don't.

Here's what I get: That, in terms of education, it's the next step. In the picture, you see Prada viewing the BGSU art gallery. How rad, right? And how rad that there are faculty offices where you can "meet up with" and "talk" with your professor bypassing all the awkward BS that comes with face-to-face meetings? And how rad that you can be at class in a "video-game-like" world? I adore all this business. But seriously how many students have the the newest Mac computers (or PCs) that are able to support Second Life? Most college students I know are poor, praying for enough money to get their textbooks.

Which leads me to what I don't "get": the desire to be freak-ish. Yes, in Second Life it's "cooler" to be something you could never be in real life. As you can see in Second Life I'm a brunette with Christian-from-Project-Runway jeans and a killer white jacket. No tats or pink skin or mohawk hair; I'm just me. (I admit if there was a Hello Kitty avatar I'd be her.) Aside from Hello Kitty, I don't want to be anyone else quite honestly. Also, I just don't want to put that much energy into a world that isn't Godly.

Yes, Godly.

Here's where SL gets creepy for me. Didn't God create us to live our lives in the flesh and blood? Aren't we put on this crazy planet to learn about life, love, fashion in real life? So why do so many people live their lives in SL? Seriously? I have a fab marriage, awesome friends, a sweetie puppy I adore, a job I love; why in the world would I need to live a computer-generated life? Aren't things complicated enough, though, with feelings, life lessons, and understanding the world? Why in the world would anyone want to "live" in SL? I mean bad things happen there: you can assault avatars, bomb buildings, terrorize islands. I can't figure out why people do that in real life; how in the world would I ever be able to understand the code for getting a therapist after a SL assault?

I totally understand the merit of online education/distance learning through SL. How rad to "transport" a class to India to learn about Indian poets and food. How rad to have a common meeting space to be able to "see" one another even though we're online and in different corners of the world while in class at the same time? In terms of all things education, I'm all for SL.

What I'm arguing against are those who use SL to live their lives.

That shit scares me. Our lives are so rich and meaningful; why in the world turn to digital media to create a life for yourself? Just walk outside and take a walk. For real.

Maybe a lot of people are afraid to go outside, let alone take that walk. But what does that say about our society? To me it says shouldn't we invest in cleaning up our world rather than creating digital ones (Hello, owner of Amazon who created SL in order to boost online shopping and online sales)?

The sad thing is I'm living in this real world and the Second Life one, and I don't have the hang of either one yet.

Though I see the merit in both, I just prefer the real one much more.

Confessions (Two for Tuesday)

If you've read my Twitter this morning, then you already know.

But Bleu sleeps in his kennel all night--from 11:30-6 or 7 a.m. But the past two days we've put him in bed with us from 6-8 a.m. to get some more sleep.

And we do get more sleep. It's heavenly.

But that little pig is becoming a pillow hog.

Even more honesty, though, I'm worried he'll want to sleep with us all the time and stop liking this kennel. But I know if we make the pattern just for the morning and keep the night pattern the same with his kennel, he'll be fine.

You should see him jump off the bed. It's like he's saying, "I'm done sleeping. NOW, let's eat!" It's priceless.

~

I can't stop thinking about the shootings at NIU.

I want to say something more than "I'm sorry." Or "My heart is with them." But I don't know what to say about something so horrific.

I don't understand why that kind of violence.

My confession: More and more in my role as college instructor I'm becoming paranoid about my safety, my husband's, my students', and my colleagues.

I feel like I need to become a protector in order to be a good teacher. That scares me.

No matter what fear is not going to stop me from being the best teacher I can. If anything, I'm going to use it to empower me and appreciate my students even more.

I'm Not Above Stealing Ideas

Maybe you remember my jealous post?...

If you don't, a brief recap: I was friended on Facebook by a girl I went to high school with and after viewing her profile I found out she has a kick-ass blog (she doesn't call it that, but I do.) I was jealous. Until Stokes set me straight. (Thanks, dollface!)

Plus, I've done lots of yoga and thinking since then.

I'm no longer jealous.

But, happily, I'm going to steal one of her brilliant ideas.

She's been doing self-portraits every day on her Flickr page. (Yeah, I stalk her on Flickr too...)

And I've decided I LOVE this idea. Think about it: so much happens in one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one year. Here us bloggers are documenting our lives with words (with a few YouTube videos thrown in), but self portraits? Be still my heart: how I adore Visual Rhetoric.

Really, I should get my PhD in Comp Rhet for how much I LOVE Visual Rhetoric and digital identity.

Alas, I love the money I make much, much more. (Even though, truth be told, I wish I made much, much more. LOL!)

Anyways...

It's so easy to expedite the self-portrait idea in this digital age, right? Hello, Photo Booth on Mimi the Mac (and other Macs...) And even digital cameras. (What of the new trend of taking your picture in a mirror?)

But here's my spin: to not pose. To post the first pic I take with Photo Booth. And to capture an emotion in the heat of the moment, not to try to replicate it later.

And I've been obsessed lately with feeling like I don't look good. Maybe I could debunk some of these "gross" feelings if I saw myself being natural in the moment and feeling an emotion in that moment without worrying, "A hair is out of place. Retake the photo."

So many people tell me I have a very expressive face. Shouldn't I put it to good use?

And perhaps get a good Facebook profile pic out of it...

Today's is called: "Unwinding on the internet."

Literally, I'm unwinding the internet.

I need to stop before I get more ridiculous...

Very soon I need to tell you all about my new awesome addiction: Myles Baker Street.

Snippets (Actually A Bit More Than Snippets)

Yesterday in my computer lab Composition class I tripped over some computer cords and bit the dust in front of my students. I caught myself on the wall and popped up like a puppet, laughing. They got a kick out of it too.

Apart from thinking about tripping I've been thinking about something we began talking about--digital identity. I'm sure most of you are all familiar with digital identity and digital narrative theories, but it was cool to explain it for the first time to this class of students. We've been talking a lot about Pop Culture and Technology, and yesterday was the perfect day to share with them the formal term. I pulled up my Facebook account for the whole class and explained to them that I'm only choose apps and giving details of the things I want them to know about me. I'm only presenting "the me I want people to see" on Facebook; I'm not sharing the things I might not like about myself or the things I deem private. I watched their faces as I defined this term that they were all kinda dancing around in the conversation, and I noticed several "AHA!!!!" faces. I love those teaching moments. And I really enjoy that class. The students in there are bright and motivated. They make me want to be a better teacher, scholar, and student myself.

Our class discussion, though, has me thinking a lot about Facebook. I'm totally addicted to that crazy thing. It makes it so easy to catch up with distant friends, loved ones, former students, and colleagues. I've been toying with creating student groups for my classes or developing the "Courses" app that gives classes space for a discussion board, a place to post assignment sheets, and an area to post announcements. My students seem kind of reluctant to use Facebook as an education tool. I don't blame them--at times. I think Facebook will be the new Blackbaord, but ,seriously, it's the best toy (and stalking tool) in the internet.

And while thinking about Facebook and digital identity, I've become obsessed with my Profile Picture. I can't find one that cute enough, smart enough, skinny enough: "me" enough. Either I'm having self esteem issues or I need a haircut (that always makes me feel better) or my New Year's Resolution to not buy "new" clothes has left me feeling a little under the weather.

Weather: We had several severe thunderstorms last night. It's February. We should be having blizzards. And to think there are still skeptics of global warming. Oi!

Thankfully, Bleu slept through all the lightning and thunder until one really loud rumble shook the house. Then I heard his little tags clink together as he probably raised his head (he sleeps in a kennel on the far side of master bedroom so I couldn't see him). This same rumble woke up me and FD at the same time as at the same time we said "WTF?" I imagined Bleu said it with us, and then all three of us fell back to sleep. Bleu's little tags clinking as he laid his head back down.

~

During yoga class last night I couldn't balance. Not at all. I got so pissed with myself. Seriously, how hard is it to stand on one leg with the other leg stretched out in front of you? Maybe it was my spill in class yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. And I know I can because I've done it many times before. It's been awhile since I've been frustrated like that during yoga. But I'm happy I got frustrated. It reminded me to let go and accept where I was for the day, even if that meant I was where I didn't want to be. I need constant reminders.

What I've really been enjoying this session with Megan is my mind is becoming less clogged when I practice and I'm able to draw connections between how Megan explains a pose and how I teach my students to craft an essay. Back in the day when I practiced yoga it cleared my mind to help me be receptive to words/lines/etc. for poems. I don't have that so much any more. Sometimes that scares me because I wonder if I'll ever write a poem again. But then I remind myself that I have my lyric essays which are at times hybrid enough to be poems, so why should I obsess over not writing somethings that are left-margin justified. Pigeonholing myself and writing to a certain genre in a certain style isn't cool...

Which reminds me of digital identity...like the blogs of the writers who only talk about writer-ly things. Though I respect many of these kinds of blogs, I'm skeptical of others. I'm wondering if all this digital identity isn't just perpetuating stereotypes and locking writers (and teachers) into these oversimplified personifications of their traditional roles. Aren't we all more dynamic than that?

Bleu beckons from this kennel.

Perhaps next time I'll discuss another idea I've had: "Pimp My Kennel."

!

Perhaps the closest to Inside the Actor's Studio I will ever get.

Props to Terence and the folks at IDEAL for choosing me as the feature interview this month!

On the Surface

Meet our boy Bleu.

He's 5 weeks.

As SEM says, "1/2 dog, 1/2 angel."

I sooooooo can't wait to bring him home January 2 or 3, depending on the weather.

~

All weekend all I did was imagine meeting our puppy. And I read, reread, & reread again our puppy books.

OK, not really. But you get the idea. He was on my mind.

Really this weekend I watched a boat-load of movies & experienced a fantastic snow storm!

But under the surface, seriously almost every minute, I kept thinking about our puppy.

~

Monday we went to the kennel to pick our puppy.

What's funny is Holly, the breeder, emailed us pictures of the four male black labs, & from those pics FD & I picked Red. In his pictures Red always looked engaged and really active.

Yet again I find out that I cannot base decisions/first impressions on looks alone.

When we finally met Red, he was rambunctious, to put it lightly. He was a showstopper, showing off, continually stretching his little body in the middle of the pen--imagine a dog diva. He whined when me, FD, & FD's bro AJ (who found this litter and had first pick) weren't paying attention to him. At first, his charm worked its magic on me. But then I started thinking, "Dude, Red, chill. I want to see the other pups." At that moment, Dan looked up at me & said, "I don't think we want Red. He's too rambunctious & too needy." I agreed. Totally. I kept imaging whining every time we go to teach or go out to eat. I imagined separation anxiety. I started feeling anxious. That wasn't good.

Then Bleu came over, sat down by my hand that was hanging over the edge of the pen. I started petting him, & it was chill. We were just calmly kicking it--that's the kind of dog I want! Bleu was really active too; he played with his brothers & rolled around & murmured a bit. The best was when he came over to me & rolled over so I could pet his belly. I even got his leg going. That was when my heart melted, & all the "things" that have been on my mind cascaded away.

I think having a dog buddy is going to be so good for me--mentally, emotionally, & physically (how stoked am I to have a walking buddy?! BOSS!)

And I have a feeling I'm going to become one of those doggy moms that talks about her angel all the time. You know I've been annoyed by those people for years. Now I get it.

Sorry, doggy-mamas I've been impatient with!

Now I'm going to be impatient, waiting to brag about my buddy Bleu.

~

Bleu will be FD's fourth black lab. He'll be my first dog--EVA. But I've been reading & studying up. And FD & I have talking about what will be like & what I should expect, realistically, & all the hard work we're going to have to do. I feel confident I understand the challenge & am ready for it.

Seriously, I've been setting my alarm for the middle-of-the-night pee & the early morning pee. And I'm preparing myself for puppy accidents, with lots of stain removers & acceptance that the house might not be the immaculate place it once was. And I'm dedicated to spending lots of time training and playing. And each night before I get ready for bed Bleu & I are going to get him ready for bed too with a little grooming session, a perfect time for us to bond.

Why else would I be busting my ass so much this week to complete next semester's course syllabi & new assignments when I have 3 weeks off? So I can devote more time to Bleu, of course!

I'm prepared for the hard work AND the awesome reward that comes with it.

My little pumpkin!

Maybe a puppy will help me be less selfish & a little more open-minded about the possibility of kids...

& maybe one day I'll be willing to grill in the middle of a blizzard for the love of my family.

Keep in mind I said, "Maybe..."

I am Loved After All...Nonetheless in Hello Kitty Style

Like any other day, I woke up around 8, did yoga, & ate my yogurt with flax/bran cereal and maple syrup.

Then I cleaned my closet and purged some old clothes to make room for new ones from Boden. Thank you, Johnnie Boden for your 50% off sale. I adore you.

But the day felt hectic and rushed when I realized that while in my clothing keep-or-go-? mode, it was already noon, and student portfolios were available at 1. (If you want to see what the portfolio process is all about watch this video. Guess who the narrator is...?)

From 1:30-5 p.m. I sat in my East Hall office, eagerly awaiting students to collect their passing portfolios and end the semester of Fall 2007. (Meaning, I played on Facebook the entire time. Did you know you can now use present tense verbs instead of passive ones? That kinda of made my day.) Anyways, many students came, collected, and conquered 111. But one did more.

One gave me PRESENTS. (Yes, with an S!) A Hello Kitty fleece throw and Hello Kitty slippers. (Ones so special I can't find them online!)

SCORE!

I'm sure you've all guessed I get greedy around Christmas; I can't help it. I start buying presents for loved ones, only to find loads of "things" I want. It's bad. I know.

And when I talk to my sister-in-laws about gifts they bought for their kids' teachers or day care helpers (do they have an official title I don't know about?), I always complain that my students never buy me gifts, especially this time of year. Seriously, the ONLY reason I would ever teach at the elementary level is for the gifts, which I probably wouldn't get after the parents realized their kids learned a little too much adult language from me...

But I had a student care enough to give the best--Hello Kitty. And right around Christmas! My greed lessened quite a bit today.

And to boot, when I got home I got another PRESENT from SEM, which put me even more into Hello Kitty heaven. Dude, a mix CD covered in HK stickers! Does life get better?

Why, yes, it does! Because the book that I ordered months ago on Amazon that I've been not-so-patiently waiting for arrived: Rachel Zucker's The Bad Wife Handbook: Poems! I ADORED her last book, and I'm so stoked for this one I can handle sit still long enough to write this post. Seriously, I'm wiggling all around trying to type fast enough so I can curl up with my HK throw, my glass of Cab, & The Bad Wife Handbook while I listen to my new sweet mix from SEM.

F! This day would have only been better if two things had happened: we got our black lab puppy (more on him soon) and I got my new threads from Boden.

But it's good to have somethings to look forward to, right? It means more good days to come!

Closing Remarks on this Weekend

Friday I went to lunch with Just A Girl; Living in Captivity.

We had a blast. I am now addicted to the Cheese Dip at our local Mexican restaurant. AD, it did change my life!

More importantly, it was good to listen to Just A Girl talk about her life, dreams, and fears. I learned a lot about ALL the things my younger friends and current students go through. Seriously, I think they're dealing with everything in their twentieth year that I dealt with all through my twenties. Crazy! But I wholeheartedly adore Just A Girl's commitment to herself and her need to help others; she's got her head on right for someone who has a lot of life experience.

I'm always learning. Life is good.

Then it was off to my in-laws for some much needed Quality Time! We had a blast a Hunan (one of my all-time FAV restaurants!!!) Friday night. Then Saturday my mother-in-law, S, and I caught up, which was much needed and more important than ever. Thanks, S!

Saturday night our precious niece Buggy had her second b-day! Her mama gave a great party with HOMEMADE REFRIED BEANS. Needless to say, I was in heaven! And it was great spending the night with all the in-law clan, catching up, busting up, and hugging a lot. T, EJ, S, Q, L, and I all got in some really valuable girl-time that really made me feel at peace. Thanks, ladies! I love you! And a special thanks to Q for keeping the red wine flowing...

Today S and I went to the Mustard Seed Market. I LOVE buying groceries there. But I was so happy shopping there, I totally forgot ALL the items on my list at home. Thank God we're going to the Andersons tomorrow evening.

We drove back to BG early this afternoon through the ice storm. We're crazy. But I have meetings and work tomorrow, so it was kinda a must, sadly...

I white-knuckled it, driving and singing along to my life soundtrack while FD kept me occupied with questions about music. It was OK until we hit the first patch of ice in Wood County. Then it kind of sucked until we got off the Turnpike. I think we missed it for the most part, though.

The streets were clear in BG.

The trees and wires were drooping with icicles. And FD's car was covered in 1/4" of ice.

We snuggled in and watched Star Wars, and, suddenly, all within our little home became calm and relaxed once again.

Sigh.

Looking forward to yoga tomorrow morning. Staying centered this upcoming busy week is a MUST.

As Promised...

But the sad thing is I don't really have anything to say.

I'm trapped in my office collecting student portfolios.

The joy in that is that this semester is almost over.

More joy: Snow blankets the ground here. I love snow.

Even more joy: I have a secret that makes me squeal with delight and feel totally happy.

Even when I'm dealing with my less-than-polite students.

That says something.

A Week of Thankfulness (in Fast Forward)

Because of our holiday travel and time with our families, I didn't get a chance to post my other thanks in honor of Thanksgiving Week. So here are all the rest of this week's days in one big post--what I'm calling a fast forward.

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 3):

I was thankful for a day off. At least in terms of my "school" work. It's been go-Go-GO(!) as the semester is coming to a close in two weeks, so a day of rest from that hectic schedule was much appreciated!

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 4--Thanksgiving Day):

I'm thankful for my families.

We spent the actual day with my family because it also was Hons' 60th birthday. (Happy Birthday, Hons!) We had a great time cooking as a family and hanging out, just talking and catching up around the dining room table. My sister Angie's birthday also is in November, and while at the Hallmark store getting cards, FD and I found Care Bear Jibbitz for Crocs! We gave those to Ang Thanksgiving Morning, and she freaked out! She kept pressing her hand over her heart and sighing like she was going to pass out. It was really cute! The whole day was a real treat to spend it with Mom, Ang, Pops, Hons, Ross, Holly, Grandma Rita, and FD.

We headed to FD's brother's for dessert to round out our day. I always have so much fun with my in-laws too. I'm really lucky to such a close relationship with them because I know most people aren't fortunate enough to get along with their in-laws, let alone love them! Over at A and T's we played Memory and Buzzword as well as Euchre, while we snacked on some turkey, crack potatoes, and pie! (One of these days I'll post the Crack Potatoes recipe! They are soooo good! And great for make ahead! The first time I had my mother-in-law's holiday potatoes I renamed them "Crack Potatoes" because I was instantly addicted to them!)

It was a Thanksgiving to be thankful for!

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 5):

I was thankful for Motrin and Coca-Cola.

After eating so much my sensitive body wasn't all that used to, especially the sweets and stuffing, I had a pretty bad headache and tummy ache Friday.

Despite my pain, I did help my mom-in-law, sisters-in-law, and nieces make Crisco Cakes.

And I did manage to play some Euchre and Memory before hitting the hay really, really early.

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 6):

I was thankful for online shopping, being an aunt, and sleeping in my own bed.

EJ, T, S, and I went shopping at Aurora Farms. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE shopping. However, being that we live kinda far away from malls, a Target, or outlet stores, most of my shopping is done online, through Hons who buys me clothes at the FL consignment stores, or at the Grey Colt when I'm out on the Eastside.

Needless to say, I forgot how crowded in-store shopping can be. Every store we went in there were seriously at least 60 people, and most of the stores weren't big enough to hold 60 people.

Of all the stores we visited, The Children's Place really freaked me out. The clothes it was selling to toddlers and young girls were slutty and cheesy. Henely tees with lace tanks under them. Gross layered shirts with lame graphics of a bratty girl or a rainbow splashed with The Children's Place. I quickly faded. Whatever happened to kids clothes with cute prints of birds, cherries, cupcakes, whales?

I've been thinking a lot about my back-and-forth between wanting kids and not wanting kids, so when I was confronted by The Children's Place, I was happy to be kid-free.

But then we went to Carter's and I wanted a kid really badly. The clothes at Carter's were delightful with their little embroidered owl on a fleece nightgown, their cherry-printed hoodies, their clearance summer dresses with a skort bottom and little embroidered whale logo. EJ started playing at the kid size Lego table, so I took a load off, sitting next to her in one of the kid sized chairs with my knees up to my chin. We hung out while S and T Christmas shopped. EJ and I always have a great time together. She tooted and blamed it on random customers who weren't even close to us. At one point, after we had played enough Legos, she said, "What the...? What the heck is going on here? I'm boring and ready to go." I laughed so hard my eyes were shut, and when I opened them, I saw 30 people staring at me blankly. Then EJ started laughing.

Kicking it with her makes me want to have a kid really badly. But she's not like other kids. She's not really a cry-er or bratty or whine-y, and with my luck, I'd have one of those kids who I would have to pretend to like when really I couldn't stand him/her. Oi! Also, she's my niece; I'm not really around her when she experiences crazy meltdowns. When I'm around, it's usually about us having fun. Being an aunt is pretty good times.

But I know FD and I have great genes, and I bet we'd have some really great kids and I know once I had my own kids I would love them with all my heart and be biased about them because I loved them so much. But I just am not ready to give up my shopping in my stores for shopping in obnoxious kids' stores. I know that sounds evil, but it's the truth. Why hide it?

Right now, I'm thankful to be a cool aunt. One of these days, maybe I'll be thankful to be a cool mom.

After so much shopping and time away from home, I was thankful to snuggle up to FD in our bed in our little house after such a busy holiday.

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 7):

Today at home, doing laundry, packing up Fall decorations and setting up Christmas decorations, I'm thankful for time. Simply time: to catch-up on lesson plans, begin decorating, go for a walk with FD on this crisp day. Write this blog post.

I'm thankful I'm starting to learn how to use my time wisely. The older I get, the more I realize life's too short not to be thankful for time.

Also, I'm thankful for realizing that sometimes my post endings sound cheesy like a sitcom/drama, like The Wonder Years or Doogie Howser, M.D. I need to work on that.

(The picture for this post was taken the day after Thanksgiving when Cleveland had their first snow.)

A Week of Thankfulness (Day 1)

This past weekend I realized how thankful I am for two special students.

One sent me the coolest care package ever with some Detroit Tigers goodies, a stuffed baby turtle, AWESOME mix CDs, a pic of her yellow lab (which is officially hanging on our fridge), and one of the most honest letters I have ever gotten from anyone in my life.

The other called me to talk about her plans to transfer and her major change. I think she was looking for advice or confirmation, but without knowing it she gave me more than I gave her. She renewed my faith in people who actually want to help others in need and helped me feel not-so-alone in the competitive world of writing.

Thank you, ladies!

Ugh...

I'm having one of those days where I don't really like people. (Generally speaking.)

Does everyone feel this way? Every once and awhile?

Two examples: I'm in a CTLT Web 2.0 Presentation today (I signed up hoping to learn more about del.icio.us), and this idiot's cell phone goes off. (Imagine: he's sitting in the front row in a computer lab. And the presenter is standing next to him.) He doesn't silence the phone and apologize. NO, he TAKES THE CALL!!! HE TALKS ON THE PHONE DURING THE PRESENTATION!!! WTF?!?!

Then I sign into my blog and find this ad about some lady who has a book based off her blog which is a bunch of to-do lists (huh?), much like PostSecret lists secrets. While I do like PostSecret (they rock!), I don't like this lady. (Disclaimer: I'm sure I would like her if I met her, but I'm saying this for effect and to illustrate how I don't like people today.) How do these people make money off of this stupid shit? Who do they know? And how can one call this stupid shit art? I got my freakin' MFA. I have freakin' debt. And I can't get this blog turned into a book to save my life! WTF?!?!

In order to stay sane, I'm brainstorming career changes. I need to getaway from these crazy people.

Sadly, I realize they are everywhere.

I think I need a career change that involves being a hermit.

OK, OK, I know God's trying to make me humble and appreciate others' art and feel love and kindness for all that is good, smart, happy, and wonderful. And all this is really nice. Really, really nice.

But today it's pissing me off.

The more I think about creative non-fiction and writing and art, the more the "I" is becoming so boring and drab to me. Even me as an "I" is Snooze Fest '07. And the more I hear about these specialized books like a to-do-list-blog-turned-book, the more I feel disgusted by art, consumerism, and self exploitation. Which makes me wonder what is the point of art today? And wonder whether I really want to contribute to this whole mess of culture. And wonder why I blog and pick blog topics like these that are way too honest and make me look like a schmuck.

Is this frustration stemming from jealous or some inner-battle to get to the heart of my own art and beyond my "I" in my essays and poems? Or is it some intellectual fight with art and society? Or just end of the semester stress? Or dare I be cliche and chuck it up to PMS?

All sound equally good.

Right now, all I know, for sure, is I need something like a to-do-list-blog-turned-book, so I can work a hell of lot less and play on Facebook a hell of a lot more.