More soon on the AWESOME meal prepared by guest celebrity chef Stephanie Izard, but until then, here's a sneak peek.

A Kinda Christmas Story

The urge starts like the jingle of a tiny bell: Tink. Tink. Slowly, it builds like an orchestra. Strings. Horns. Percussion. All together. I have to go; there is no holding. None.

Usually the instance I felt a tingle in my bladder, I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I was a bed-wetter. I couldn’t be trusted to hold, and I knew better than doing so. I had gotten too used to the hot liquid turning cold fast against my bum, the angry flick of light switches in my bedroom, the bathroom, then the laundry room, the stink of vinegar water on my mattress, the swoosh of sleeping bag against floor, and overwhelming guilt of being a bed-wetter. At home it’s one thing, but around family I never see, it’s completely different.

The Christmas Eve I was seven, my mom and I hitched a ride to Chicago with my grandpa and grandma in their Crown Victoria to visit my uncle and his family. Sure, the whole way there I had to pee, but I was with an old lady who had to pee all the time. For once it wasn’t my fault that we stopped at almost every rest area along snowy the Ohio turnpike. No adult questioned the validity of my bladder’s urge and hushed my requests to stop with “you can hold it until the next one.” Finally, there was an adult who had to go as much as me. It was the first time I had traveled in complete bladder comfort.

That night I slept on the pull-out couch with my cousin Katie and cousin Matt. I could barely sleep thinking of Santa. I tossed and turned, bumping Katie’s reindeer print flannel arm and leg while continually whispering to Matt that he was wimp for not staying up with me. The red, green, and blue outdoor Christmas lights that wrapped around the bushes in their yard and their neighbors cast a warm glow in the sunken den of our room.

Up the stairs of the sunken den was the kitchen, then the great room with the front door and chimney, then a hallway where the three bedrooms were. At the end, the bathroom. My aunt and uncle were the closest to it. I hadn’t seen their bedroom, but I imagined them sound asleep based on the contagious yawns I saw at our early evening arrival. My grandparents were second closest. I pictured them sleeping on Matt’s twin sized beds, each in a separate bed, an arm’s length away from each other. My mom was third closest. I thought I heard her loud eggnog induced snore from Katie’s room, trailing downstairs to me, the farthest person from the bathroom. I found the thought of each family member sleeping in a room much closer to the bathroom than me, not comforting but thoroughly upsetting.

Immediately, my bladder jingled its tiny bell.

I had to get up; there was little time for such a far run. Rolling over Katie, thumping on the floor, that’s exactly the moment I heard it.

Scratch. Scratch. Neigh.

I froze, crouched on the green shag carpet.

Scratch. Neigh. Scratch.

Santa was here.

My first thought was: if he sees me, I’ll scare him away before he sees the picture of Poochie I colored for him, before he eats the special sprinkle cookies, before he sets the shiny presents under the tree. Piss my pants or risk no presents. I’d be damned after how good I had been that year to not get presents. And I certainly did not want my distant relatives glaring back and forth between the present-less, brown pine needle-ridden tree skirt and me. I squeezed my thighs together, squinted my eyes shut, pressed my hands over my ears, and prayed Santa would be quick about his business.

Each second the urge to pee grew. The bell was joined by the strings, the strings joined by the horns, seconds later the percussion section took over until all I could hear under my sweaty palms was the drumming of pain in my bladder, throbbing in every nerve of my body. I tightened my vaginal muscles like the doctor told me. I counted. I breathed. Just like the doctor said. 10. Inhale. Exhale. 11. Inhale. Exhale. The burning sensation began. 12. Inhale. Exhale. I felt a little trickle escape. It was only seconds before my urine made a prison break. I looked to the stairs, consciously clutching my vaginal muscles, preparing my body for movement. I had to chance no gifts. I had to make the break.

I popped up like the little flower I was in the past spring’s play, and when I was up, I ran like never before. I jumped the stairs, my bare feet making sticky noises against the kitchen linoleum. I passed through the great room’s threshold, and zoomed passed the reflection of myself in the front door’s glass. Rounding the 8 foot glimmering Christmas tree, I tripped on the hem on my long flannel nightgown. The hardwood cold underneath me, I crouched for a moment on my palms and knees, gathering myself. So far no leakage. My thighs were still tight. I could make it. I took a deep breath and rose to a slight chuckle.

Looking up, I saw a round belly jiggling slightly, shiny black buttons, a white beard twitching. I literally had stumbled upon Santa, who was looking at our pictures and chewing on a cookie. When we made contact, he winked at me. I know it sounds cliché like something from a holiday movie scene, but I swear he was before me in all his magical flesh. This Santa was not some dude at the mall or my grandpa dressed up. He was the real deal. I could tell by his wink. My grandpa couldn’t wink without closing both eyes. I gave Santa a smile and a curtsey. He motioned his head towards the bathroom. The pain returned swiftly, and again I was racing down the hallway. I flung open the door, slammed it shut. I danced my panties off. I sat on the rim without putting the seat down. I didn’t care. The rush of liquid was exhilarating. It wasn’t until my first orgasm that I realized pissing after holding for a long time feels almost exactly the same.

Of course, Santa was gone when I reentered the great room. Crumbs from his cookies rested on the plate and on the chair. I had triumphantly seen Santa. A tale to tell to make all kids jealous. I was proud tiptoeing my way back to bed, knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep after glimpsing the stacks of shimmering paper and perfectly puffed fabric bows. Christmas would happen after all. I wouldn’t be blamed for scaring off Santa, but soon I realized I would never be believed for seeing him.

(Thanks to Ray Ray for helping this essay come to fruition.)

Teaser

The Why & Later Readers at the KBG Bar.

More on my AWESOME trip to NY coming very soon.

Thanks to Carly, Erin, & Kiely for making it extremely special.

The Last of It

It all began with the shoes.

The desire to see each pair without opening the box. (Thank you countless fashionistas in NYC & Martha Stewart.)

Campers are precious shoes that deserve full exposure.

Now the masterpiece is almost complete. Closet domination!

After going to bed I realized I hadn't taken pics of my favorite accessories. And I realized I hadn't showered.

This morning I took those pics & will be adding the accessory photos with stories to the closet binder very shortly. After taking a shower.

(Side note: Walgreens online photo center is the BOMB. Easy to upload photos & easy to pick them up at your local store after receiving the photos-are-ready email.)

Looking at this first pic my closet looks like a mess. But it's small & cramped. (One day my dream of California Closets will come true!) For now, I promise you, dear reader, it is well-organized & exceptionally neat.

For the shoes that are boxless, such as my Orla Kiely wellies and Coleman hiking boots, I hung their pics on the top shelf as reminders.

The only things I would do differently are write stories on the back of the shoe photos, take photos of every t-shirt and tank, take photos of my winter sweaters too (which I can do during winter break...), and print doubles of shoes so one set can go in binder (which I can do during winter break too).

I was thinking this little project is perfect for organization & outfit preparation, but on a morbid note, it's good for insurance purposes & casket attire too. (If that sounds weird to you, clearly you don't know how weird I am.)

From Tuesday night to Thursday morning. Not bad. For pics with stories, outfit suggestions, and level of love codes.

According to my closet, the most loved designers are Orla Kiely, Johnny Was, Lilly Pulitzer, Free People, Boden, and Gap Demin.

The best deals were $188 Blue Cult jeans for $19.99; $130 Campers for $25; and countless of designer (Juicy Couture, Lilly Pulitzer, etc.) finds by Hons at the resale shops in Ft. Myers, FL.

I'm serious about hiring myself out as an organizer. If you're interested leave a comment with your email & we'll discuss.

I just might have a new calling in life.

But before I answer that calling I need a shower & a great summer outfit.

Oh NO She Didn't...!!!

28 hours later. I'm done.

Booya! I am motivated after all.

After 3 hours of taking pictures of my wardrobe.

4 hours after uploading pics to Walgreens, petting Bleu in between uploads (approximately 20 minutes for each 12 pic set of 136 pics).

2 1/2 hours waiting for Walgreens to call on my order.

4 1/2 put together time. (Well, calculate in 45 mins of Project Runway [We have the original DVR TIVO]. Thank God for Tim Gunn giving me a break while firing me up!)

AT 12:30, here I type, should-be-drunk-on-wine-but-exhausted-and-accomplished-yet-still- looking-for-some-pics-that-seem-to-be -missing.

Each pic in the binder contains the buttons & tags as well as the story behind the garment.

If only I was this motivated & OCD about my writing. Maybe one day...Maybe...

However, b/c I'm a label & money whore I'd be willing to this for your closet at a fair price. Fair being a very subjective word depending on your warobe & care of it...

Fun in the Sun

New Buffalo, MI. Harbor Country.

I met up with a very close friend from grad school, KLA, recently for a girls' getaway--something we both really needed. (Thanks for a great time KLA! You rock!)

Of all the pics I took this one was my fav. I took it from the balcony of our room at the Harbor Grand. The hotel was exceptionally clean and comfortably spacious, and its central location made getting around town on-foot or bike a cinch. The pool area was goregous too! However, the staff were not-so friendly or informative. I would recommend Harbor Grand if you know the area and/or don't use the concierge service much. If you rely on the concierge, I suggest finding another hotel with better customer service or figuring out your way around BEFORE staying there. The concierge at Harbor Grand were force-ably nice, not reliable, & a little put-out with our questions and requests that were not of of the ordinary and were encouraged by their website.

The area is fantastic, though! AB FAB!

Best memory of our trip: The first night there as a horrible storm where lightning struck one of the marina's piers, creating a human-sized sparkler. Of course we gawked from our patio door with it open & our heads hanging out. Then the tornado siren went off. Instead of huddling down in the lowest level of the hotel (a 1/2 flight of stairs down from us), we braved it in our room, swearing (literally dropping f-bombs) & swearing to dive into the bath tub if we see any twister action. It was AWESOME. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time!

If you find yourself in New Buffalo or Harbor Country, check out these great restaurants or places of interest:

Redamak's: Great for lunch, especially if you're hungover. Burgers are the specialty. Milkshakes are grainy in that powdered-milk way, so avoid those. They only accept cash. Remember to bring cash. ;)

Timothy's: AWESOME for a swank dinner out while wearing casual attire. It's a seafood place, so know they're not the best at cooking filet mignon. Portions are huge and the food is intoxicatingly delectable. Prices are good. Homemade blueberry martinis are a MUST!

Gordon Beach Inn: Where Timothy's is located. This inn has a woodsy, homey vibe. Definitely a place worth investigating for future stays.

Bentwood Tavern: Rumor has it that one should be asked to sit on the roof of this marina restaurant.

The Stray Dog: No Black Dog Tavern but decent food in a beachy setting. Again large portions.

Vickers Theater: KLA & I talked about going here just b/c it looks purely radical. However, why see a movie when there's so much to catch up on? Therefore, I plan on going there with FDR sometime.

Go to the Beach: Of course!

And explore all the fun that can be had in MI!

In the words of Sufjan Stevens, "Say Yes to M!CH!GAN!"

And said YES to MI we have! KLA & I both loved the area so much we're planning next year's trip with ourselves, husbands, and dogs. I can't wait! Lounging on the beach, swimming in Lake Michigan, and eating at fabulous restaurants like Timothy's with good friends sounds beyond fabulous.

I just wish we were going this week. But, no, a year from now.

This week is dedicated to lesson planning, uploading Blackboard sites, and general readying for the semster, not fun in the sun.

"Heaven isn't too far away; Wish we could go to Revolver Restaurant every day!" (My Tribute Song to Revolver)

To celebrate our 3rd Anniversary we went to our FAVORITE restaurant in Findlay: Revolver Restaurant.

On the revolver last night was Jimi Hendrix and not exactly the poppy Hendrix you'd hear on an oldies station. It was all-out experimentive guitar solos. RAD!

We decided we'd be pigs and eat 3 courses instead of the regular 2 AND have dessert.

Oh my, we were pigs. The portions have gotten MUCH bigger. But we kept eating. And after dinner during the car ride home we actually talked about turning the car around and doing it again. Seriously, we love it that much. We barely slept the night before. All day long we verbally were counting down the minutes until we could leave. And to boot we left the house early because we couldn't stand it anymore. Going to Revolver, for us, is like Christmas Eve combo'ed with the eve of going to Cedar Point.

Chef Micheal Bulkowski yet again delivered the food we dream about:

Rabbit with baby carrots (the humor of this dish nearly killed us--us eating rabbit who ate carrots ! Love it!)

"Lake Erie Perch with fondant potatoes, spring peas, & parmesan-lemon-thyme broth"--writing this makes my mouth water. I was in heaven while eating it. In case you don't know I'm a huge fan of Lake Erie!

The apps were out-of-control great and again HUGE portions: FD got pork belly (Oh-so good!) and I got "house cured bresaola" with goat cheese and crackers. And I haven't even begun talking about the cucumber gazpacho and my organic greens salad.

Better yet what about dessert? I forgot to take a picture before it was too late...

The only disappointment: that Debi Bulkowski wasn't there. She's such a fabulous hostess-with-the-mostest!

Another Fab dinner.

And we got all this for $100 with a glass of wine and beer. C'mon! That's stealing, especially in NY where a burger alone can cost $20.

The other thing I MUST mention, too, is that Revolver is seriously "homemade," in my humble opinion: we can see the chefs in the kitchen, they use organic goods, and, for toppers, on the menu they list the LOCAL FARMS they buy the food from!

Again, heaven.

Or at least the white light I hope to see when I go there...Well, obviously I would be in hell if there wasn't Revolver.

Best part of the whole dinner: sharing the experience with my husband and best friend.

I totally can't wait to go there again in August with our good friends from Detroit!!

For more pictures of our experience, visit my Flickr page.

Here's to 3 Years and a Lifetime More

RAD

And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Com-pa-ny products are now on my Christmas list.

Yes, I start my Christmas list in July.

Ride On

Cedar Point: The Top 10 List

1.) I look like I'm from NY, according to a lady from MA with a Lily Pulitzer polo shirt. When I told her I was from OH, she frowned. But it's nice to hear on my birthday, "You have way better style than someone from Ohio."

2.) Cedar Point is a tutorial in tattoos: What NOT to get and Where NOT to get it.

3.) At the Point I saw way too many "hot" chicks looking at "old" men who were looking at "hot" chicks.

4.) Translation of #3: If there were a Cedar Point show it would be a special edition of Dateline mixed with What Not To Wear mixed with The Hills.

5.) Park food is disgusting. Barbara Kingsolver would frown. A lot. After lunch at the 50s dinner by Top Thrill Dragster I wanted to die. Or throw up.

6.) Found a beautiful $168 Tommy Bahama bathing suit at the Hotel Breakers clothing store. I showed it to FD. He frowned. Then he shook his head NO.

7.) Best Food on the park campus: Bay Harbor. FD and I smiled a lot during dinner. Though I thought they could use local veggies...

8.) The TGIF bar in Hotel Breakers is very shapely and a great place for a night cap after riding rides for about 12 hours.

9.) My new arch-enemy: Top Thrill Dragster. In the late morning we waited an hour and half only to make it to the gate on the platform while nervously anticipating the thrill that was to be ours next and hear, "TTD will closed indefinitely due to high winds. Enjoy your day at Cedar Point." Then we were only disappointed again to have the crew tell us after the thunderstorms, "There's no way it will reopen tonight." Only to see car after car go on it while we riding the Millennium Force for the 4the time...

10.) If it storms, STAY at the Point. Go have dinner. Take a break. After the storms there's no wait for rides. We walked on the Millennium Force 3 times and the Maverick twice. AWESOME!

~

The Rides Ridden List (in order)

Maverick

Mean Streak

Millennium Force

Waited in line for Top Thrill Dragster for an hour and a half.

(Horrible lunch break. Next year I'm going to bring my lunch or eat at the Sports Grill by Raptor or I'm going out of the park.)

Raptor

Blue Streak

Magnum (2 times)

Gemini

Mine Ride

(Dinner and Storm Break. Good times!)

Last hour park was open. Yes, we rode the following rides in ONE hour:

Millennium Force (3 times)

Maverick (2 times)

Millennium Force (Last train of the night)

RAD!!!

While there was a little frowning here and there FD and I laughed and had a great time! It's just hard to go to such a consumeristic place and not become a little depressed by American culture and behavior. I just had to remember it's a dream come true for me to be at Cedar Point on my bday with my totally RAD hubby!

In Need of Some Help

Meet my new button man friend.

Sad thing is he doesn't have a name.

Can you help me think of one for him?










Also, Nameless-As-Of-Yet Mr. Button Man has a request for you too:

If you're an artist or vendor, Alicia's Voice is looking for items for its silent auction on June 18th at our annual benefit golf outing. If you're interested in donating an item, gift card, or service, please leave a comment with contact info and I'll get in touch with you. All proceeds go to Alicia's Voice and The Center.

Together We Can!!!

♫ While My Puppy Gently Sleeps...♫

Right now a puppy is sleeping on the couch in my office, and I'm quite content.

We attended our first puppy play-date, and BooBoo is wiped out. Perfect. Now I can get some much needed blogging in.

While I didn't win the 6word Twitter contest, I did win a different Twitter Zappos contest, which yielded a higher reward: a $150 gift card to Zappos.com! Yippeeee! The Twitter contest from @zappos_alfred was "Best advice I've gotten is from my Mom. What's best advice your mom gave u? I'll pick 2 replies for free shoes." Here's the winning advice I got from Hons: " Winners are: @HelloKittyAMR-mom told her marry your best friend and @katgil-mom told her to always think positive. I will direct msg you."

(Being a part of Twitter pays off, dear friends!)

Because I did marry my best friend, I gave him the gift card for a new pair of shoes. Ahhhh! Cute--I know.

I must admit, though, I bought myself a new pair of shoes too...I'm addicted...And I blame my no new clothes and shoes resolution for it. I will NEVER make that resolution evereverever again.

Still feeling run-down lately and pretty emotional. After Lemon Cadet's comment that I should take a pregnancy test, I must let all of you know I'm not preggars. I'm just crazy, which apparently is one pink line. Speaking of Lemon Cadet, Baby Lemon is here, and she's precious! Congrats Lemon Family!

I've been feeling a lot better over the past few days. Finishing my book review for Literary Review Magazine helped and being home again helped a lot too. I'm finding the older I get the less I like traveling. Perhaps I'm becoming a crotchety hermit. Or perhaps I'm just tired of traveling almost every weekend. It's exhausting and expensive. And as much as I love our families sometimes I just want to be home doing nothing but reading, blogging, and walking the dog. It's hard to be so close to our families and so far away in terms of distance, but it's life so I must try to handle traveling better. Somehow.

The highlights of seeing our families this past weekend was that my sister visited us for two nights and one day, which was really nice, and we had really nice Mother's Day celebrations with all of our moms, and I got to see the Cortes' fam pics with them and Flat Stan visiting the free stamp and Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame as well as Flat Stan sitting on a kid potty. Good times! (Suz, send me those pics ASAP!)

Speaking of Flat Stan, I'm willing host him if anyone out there needs a Flat Stan host...I adore him.

Just a two more things real quick before my sleepy head wakes up:

There's a dog park right here in Bowling Green! Does anyone take their dog there? It looks a little deserted...More on the dog park situation soon when it's not raining and I can investigate more.

And this weekend come on out for the Poetry and Yoga Alicia's Voice Event. We'd love to see you!

The Story of the Great Bleu-dini and The Search for a Tasty Milkshake

Yesterday I craved a vanilla milkshake.

But NOT just any milkshake. A CheeBurger CheeBurger milkshake.

This is not a "normal" craving. It's a every-other-year thing or a when-in-Florida thing, so I don't mind indulging in the CRAZY amount of calories and fat content.

I figured FD and I would go to lunch at Kermit's (our fav diner in BG) for burgers, fries, and shakes--a 50's kind of lunch. Yum.

When we got to Kermit's we found out they "don't serve shakes on weekends."

When asked why, our server retorted, a bit snottily, "We're too busy."

WTF?! Milkshakes are moneymakers. Someone really needs to tell Kermit that.

In sadness and a bit of anger, we ate our burgers and fries sans milkshake--a 90's kind of lunch. Ugh.

Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day obsessively considering my milkshake options: McDonald's (can't break no fast food resolution), DQ (didn't want soft serve), Marble Slab (way too expensive unworthily), The Sundae Station (possibly?) or the Ice Cream Machine (maybe?).

All I wanted was a true milkshake with hand dipped ice cream and little crunches of ice, not some watered-down, preservative-ridden, chemically engineered shake. It shouldn't be so hard.

Truth be told, I considered flying to Sanibel, FL (even checked flight costs!) so I could go to CheeBurger CheeBurger. Sans multi-million dollar budget and private jet, I was forced to pick something local.

Well past lunch and still weighing my options, FD and I left the house to grade student essays without worrying about a little black dog named Bleu. We crated BooBoo as always and headed off to the library. FD consumed by his grading ("That essay wasn't so bad...") and me trying to grade but continually talking through my milkshake options ("I could eat a salad for dinner and get a milkshake from DQ...Why can't Myles Baker Street serve gourmet milkshakes?...Why doesn't BG have an old school soda fountain?...Vermilion used have one in their downtown pharmacy; it was so cool...")

FD: "Could you please stop? Just for an hour? I'm really trying to grade."

Somehow I managed to finish five papers during our library visit, which freed up time during the two-minute car ride home to further vacillate my milkshake choices: "DQ and MickeyD's are out...I'm thinking Marble Slab..."

FD: "You want to blow $10 on a milkshake!? Are you nuts? It's not payday!"

Upon opening the door, we saw a black tail wagging beyond the baby gate.

A BLACK TAIL WAGGING BEYOND THE BABY GATE!

A BLACK TAIL THAT SHOULD BE IN ITS KENNEL!

WTF?!

!?!?!?




Somehow Bleu-dini escaped his kennel.

I imagine it looked something like this:
Between Bleu and Kermit's not selling milkshakes on the weekends, I lost my mind.

It didn't return until much later. After I watched the Dog Whisper, after I had my milkshake from The Ice Cream Machine (it was good, but not CheeBurger good), after Bleu pushed open the front screen door and escaped again, after my friend AS came over to play with Bleu and he tried to eat her hair, after an episode of L&O SVU, after I fell asleep and dreamed of Bleu escaping from his kennel again and hopping into bed with us...

~

PS!!!

OMG: There's 2 CheeBurgers in MI! We're so going this summer. Like the first day of summer.

That might mean I have to make milkshakes a twice-a-year thing.

Looks like Bleu-ser and I will be walking an additional mile every day...

The Frustrated With & The Thankful For

I really like to appear happy-to-lucky on my blog. Which is why I haven't posted anything lately.

Then I realized it's stupid to only post "good things," as Martha says. And posting my frustrations helped me see what I am thankful for and to rethink my priorities. That's always a "good thing."

So here's me at one of my more honest internet moments. And believe me the internet could use more of those moments. (That's a whole other blog post about the internet as PR, etc. etc. More soon on that.)

Frustrated with:

1.) Students who obviously don't give a shit about their education. Why waste the money? Drop out of school if it's so f***ing easy or f***ing hard.

2.) Online Teaching. I love it. Don't get me wrong. But what I don't love is all this bullshit about how upcoming online classes (like the ones I created) "overuse" technology. Resistant students, teachers, dept. heads, deans and all those other people scared of new technologies because they don't understand any of them and aren't willing to use any themselves need to stop campaigning against them and get on board by taking an online class or teaching an online class. The future is next year and technology is part of it--online or f2f. Ask any 18 year old. Now go ask a 10 year old. Then a 5 year old. BOOYA!

3.) Kristy Lee Cook. Seriously, how long can her untalented ass hang by a thread? Ramielle is going home tonight. Ugh.

4.) Never having enough time.

5.) Myself. Seriously, I know I need to let go of these frustrations and control what I can by making more time, voting more for David A, David C, & Carlye so Kristy Lee goes home, holding development sessions in my program to show how new technologies work and what they are good for, and accepting the fact that some students don't care and never will so they earn the NP and become someone else's problem.

Thankful for:

1.) My husband

2.) My puppy

3.) My awesome students ( you know who you are!)

4.) My morning free to blog, go to the rec, and read something other than essays.

5.) The two HKs in my life: Hello Kitty and Hell's Kitchen. We know by now about my love for Hello Kitty. The other HK, namely Gordon Ramsey, always makes me feel better. Or least justified in being frustrated.

Props to Fox for the pic.

A Little More Hello Kitty Obessed than Usual

Because I don't already have enough to do and I seemingly lost my mind this semester, I'm writing an 8-10 page Researched Essay with my ENG 112 classes.

And you guessed it: mine's on Hello Kitty. I'm speculating causes of HK's popularity among grown-up women in the USA.

While researching I discovered one possible cause of her popularity: her mouthlessness.

Several of my sources claimed she was popular because her mouthlessness is like a mirror. Fans of HK can project their feelings on to her, and suddenly HK is feeling the same way as them.

I like this theory.

But what seems most accurate to it is that most pet owners do the same thing. I can't tell you how many times my little Bleu is happy, sad, frustrated, excited, yadda, yadda, yadda because I'm projecting my emotions onto him, even though he has a mouth. My little pet is my mirror.

And, for me, HK is my little pet in many ways too...

Kinda A Little (OK A Lot) "Creepy" with Many Quotation Marks Involved

Meet Prada Eames, my Second Life avatar.

My label whoreness=Prada.

My love of L&O CI=Eames.

I've been flying around Second Life, and I get it. But I don't.

Here's what I get: That, in terms of education, it's the next step. In the picture, you see Prada viewing the BGSU art gallery. How rad, right? And how rad that there are faculty offices where you can "meet up with" and "talk" with your professor bypassing all the awkward BS that comes with face-to-face meetings? And how rad that you can be at class in a "video-game-like" world? I adore all this business. But seriously how many students have the the newest Mac computers (or PCs) that are able to support Second Life? Most college students I know are poor, praying for enough money to get their textbooks.

Which leads me to what I don't "get": the desire to be freak-ish. Yes, in Second Life it's "cooler" to be something you could never be in real life. As you can see in Second Life I'm a brunette with Christian-from-Project-Runway jeans and a killer white jacket. No tats or pink skin or mohawk hair; I'm just me. (I admit if there was a Hello Kitty avatar I'd be her.) Aside from Hello Kitty, I don't want to be anyone else quite honestly. Also, I just don't want to put that much energy into a world that isn't Godly.

Yes, Godly.

Here's where SL gets creepy for me. Didn't God create us to live our lives in the flesh and blood? Aren't we put on this crazy planet to learn about life, love, fashion in real life? So why do so many people live their lives in SL? Seriously? I have a fab marriage, awesome friends, a sweetie puppy I adore, a job I love; why in the world would I need to live a computer-generated life? Aren't things complicated enough, though, with feelings, life lessons, and understanding the world? Why in the world would anyone want to "live" in SL? I mean bad things happen there: you can assault avatars, bomb buildings, terrorize islands. I can't figure out why people do that in real life; how in the world would I ever be able to understand the code for getting a therapist after a SL assault?

I totally understand the merit of online education/distance learning through SL. How rad to "transport" a class to India to learn about Indian poets and food. How rad to have a common meeting space to be able to "see" one another even though we're online and in different corners of the world while in class at the same time? In terms of all things education, I'm all for SL.

What I'm arguing against are those who use SL to live their lives.

That shit scares me. Our lives are so rich and meaningful; why in the world turn to digital media to create a life for yourself? Just walk outside and take a walk. For real.

Maybe a lot of people are afraid to go outside, let alone take that walk. But what does that say about our society? To me it says shouldn't we invest in cleaning up our world rather than creating digital ones (Hello, owner of Amazon who created SL in order to boost online shopping and online sales)?

The sad thing is I'm living in this real world and the Second Life one, and I don't have the hang of either one yet.

Though I see the merit in both, I just prefer the real one much more.

Thinking About A Lot of Stuff At Once

RIP Prince

I just found out my parents had to put down our family cat Prince unexpectedly tonight at 5:30 p.m.

I feel helpless for Pops and Hons. But I feel even worse for my sister Angie.

I know I'm shook up; I can't imagine how Ang is taking it.

I want to write more but I just can't right now...

RIP Prince 2004-2008.

Props to my bro Ross for this great picture of Prince; I know he's hurting too.

I'm Not Above Stealing Ideas

Maybe you remember my jealous post?...

If you don't, a brief recap: I was friended on Facebook by a girl I went to high school with and after viewing her profile I found out she has a kick-ass blog (she doesn't call it that, but I do.) I was jealous. Until Stokes set me straight. (Thanks, dollface!)

Plus, I've done lots of yoga and thinking since then.

I'm no longer jealous.

But, happily, I'm going to steal one of her brilliant ideas.

She's been doing self-portraits every day on her Flickr page. (Yeah, I stalk her on Flickr too...)

And I've decided I LOVE this idea. Think about it: so much happens in one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one year. Here us bloggers are documenting our lives with words (with a few YouTube videos thrown in), but self portraits? Be still my heart: how I adore Visual Rhetoric.

Really, I should get my PhD in Comp Rhet for how much I LOVE Visual Rhetoric and digital identity.

Alas, I love the money I make much, much more. (Even though, truth be told, I wish I made much, much more. LOL!)

Anyways...

It's so easy to expedite the self-portrait idea in this digital age, right? Hello, Photo Booth on Mimi the Mac (and other Macs...) And even digital cameras. (What of the new trend of taking your picture in a mirror?)

But here's my spin: to not pose. To post the first pic I take with Photo Booth. And to capture an emotion in the heat of the moment, not to try to replicate it later.

And I've been obsessed lately with feeling like I don't look good. Maybe I could debunk some of these "gross" feelings if I saw myself being natural in the moment and feeling an emotion in that moment without worrying, "A hair is out of place. Retake the photo."

So many people tell me I have a very expressive face. Shouldn't I put it to good use?

And perhaps get a good Facebook profile pic out of it...

Today's is called: "Unwinding on the internet."

Literally, I'm unwinding the internet.

I need to stop before I get more ridiculous...

Very soon I need to tell you all about my new awesome addiction: Myles Baker Street.

My Bro Knows How to Take Some Bomb-Ass Pictures

View more of My Bro's pics on his Flickr page. And favorite these ones of Bleu.