Bleu's Halloween Costume

Can you imagine?

Thanks, KJ, for sending this to me!

A Little More Hello Kitty Obessed than Usual

Because I don't already have enough to do and I seemingly lost my mind this semester, I'm writing an 8-10 page Researched Essay with my ENG 112 classes.

And you guessed it: mine's on Hello Kitty. I'm speculating causes of HK's popularity among grown-up women in the USA.

While researching I discovered one possible cause of her popularity: her mouthlessness.

Several of my sources claimed she was popular because her mouthlessness is like a mirror. Fans of HK can project their feelings on to her, and suddenly HK is feeling the same way as them.

I like this theory.

But what seems most accurate to it is that most pet owners do the same thing. I can't tell you how many times my little Bleu is happy, sad, frustrated, excited, yadda, yadda, yadda because I'm projecting my emotions onto him, even though he has a mouth. My little pet is my mirror.

And, for me, HK is my little pet in many ways too...

Kinda A Little (OK A Lot) "Creepy" with Many Quotation Marks Involved

Meet Prada Eames, my Second Life avatar.

My label whoreness=Prada.

My love of L&O CI=Eames.

I've been flying around Second Life, and I get it. But I don't.

Here's what I get: That, in terms of education, it's the next step. In the picture, you see Prada viewing the BGSU art gallery. How rad, right? And how rad that there are faculty offices where you can "meet up with" and "talk" with your professor bypassing all the awkward BS that comes with face-to-face meetings? And how rad that you can be at class in a "video-game-like" world? I adore all this business. But seriously how many students have the the newest Mac computers (or PCs) that are able to support Second Life? Most college students I know are poor, praying for enough money to get their textbooks.

Which leads me to what I don't "get": the desire to be freak-ish. Yes, in Second Life it's "cooler" to be something you could never be in real life. As you can see in Second Life I'm a brunette with Christian-from-Project-Runway jeans and a killer white jacket. No tats or pink skin or mohawk hair; I'm just me. (I admit if there was a Hello Kitty avatar I'd be her.) Aside from Hello Kitty, I don't want to be anyone else quite honestly. Also, I just don't want to put that much energy into a world that isn't Godly.

Yes, Godly.

Here's where SL gets creepy for me. Didn't God create us to live our lives in the flesh and blood? Aren't we put on this crazy planet to learn about life, love, fashion in real life? So why do so many people live their lives in SL? Seriously? I have a fab marriage, awesome friends, a sweetie puppy I adore, a job I love; why in the world would I need to live a computer-generated life? Aren't things complicated enough, though, with feelings, life lessons, and understanding the world? Why in the world would anyone want to "live" in SL? I mean bad things happen there: you can assault avatars, bomb buildings, terrorize islands. I can't figure out why people do that in real life; how in the world would I ever be able to understand the code for getting a therapist after a SL assault?

I totally understand the merit of online education/distance learning through SL. How rad to "transport" a class to India to learn about Indian poets and food. How rad to have a common meeting space to be able to "see" one another even though we're online and in different corners of the world while in class at the same time? In terms of all things education, I'm all for SL.

What I'm arguing against are those who use SL to live their lives.

That shit scares me. Our lives are so rich and meaningful; why in the world turn to digital media to create a life for yourself? Just walk outside and take a walk. For real.

Maybe a lot of people are afraid to go outside, let alone take that walk. But what does that say about our society? To me it says shouldn't we invest in cleaning up our world rather than creating digital ones (Hello, owner of Amazon who created SL in order to boost online shopping and online sales)?

The sad thing is I'm living in this real world and the Second Life one, and I don't have the hang of either one yet.

Though I see the merit in both, I just prefer the real one much more.

Snippets (Actually A Bit More Than Snippets)

Yesterday in my computer lab Composition class I tripped over some computer cords and bit the dust in front of my students. I caught myself on the wall and popped up like a puppet, laughing. They got a kick out of it too.

Apart from thinking about tripping I've been thinking about something we began talking about--digital identity. I'm sure most of you are all familiar with digital identity and digital narrative theories, but it was cool to explain it for the first time to this class of students. We've been talking a lot about Pop Culture and Technology, and yesterday was the perfect day to share with them the formal term. I pulled up my Facebook account for the whole class and explained to them that I'm only choose apps and giving details of the things I want them to know about me. I'm only presenting "the me I want people to see" on Facebook; I'm not sharing the things I might not like about myself or the things I deem private. I watched their faces as I defined this term that they were all kinda dancing around in the conversation, and I noticed several "AHA!!!!" faces. I love those teaching moments. And I really enjoy that class. The students in there are bright and motivated. They make me want to be a better teacher, scholar, and student myself.

Our class discussion, though, has me thinking a lot about Facebook. I'm totally addicted to that crazy thing. It makes it so easy to catch up with distant friends, loved ones, former students, and colleagues. I've been toying with creating student groups for my classes or developing the "Courses" app that gives classes space for a discussion board, a place to post assignment sheets, and an area to post announcements. My students seem kind of reluctant to use Facebook as an education tool. I don't blame them--at times. I think Facebook will be the new Blackbaord, but ,seriously, it's the best toy (and stalking tool) in the internet.

And while thinking about Facebook and digital identity, I've become obsessed with my Profile Picture. I can't find one that cute enough, smart enough, skinny enough: "me" enough. Either I'm having self esteem issues or I need a haircut (that always makes me feel better) or my New Year's Resolution to not buy "new" clothes has left me feeling a little under the weather.

Weather: We had several severe thunderstorms last night. It's February. We should be having blizzards. And to think there are still skeptics of global warming. Oi!

Thankfully, Bleu slept through all the lightning and thunder until one really loud rumble shook the house. Then I heard his little tags clink together as he probably raised his head (he sleeps in a kennel on the far side of master bedroom so I couldn't see him). This same rumble woke up me and FD at the same time as at the same time we said "WTF?" I imagined Bleu said it with us, and then all three of us fell back to sleep. Bleu's little tags clinking as he laid his head back down.

~

During yoga class last night I couldn't balance. Not at all. I got so pissed with myself. Seriously, how hard is it to stand on one leg with the other leg stretched out in front of you? Maybe it was my spill in class yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. And I know I can because I've done it many times before. It's been awhile since I've been frustrated like that during yoga. But I'm happy I got frustrated. It reminded me to let go and accept where I was for the day, even if that meant I was where I didn't want to be. I need constant reminders.

What I've really been enjoying this session with Megan is my mind is becoming less clogged when I practice and I'm able to draw connections between how Megan explains a pose and how I teach my students to craft an essay. Back in the day when I practiced yoga it cleared my mind to help me be receptive to words/lines/etc. for poems. I don't have that so much any more. Sometimes that scares me because I wonder if I'll ever write a poem again. But then I remind myself that I have my lyric essays which are at times hybrid enough to be poems, so why should I obsess over not writing somethings that are left-margin justified. Pigeonholing myself and writing to a certain genre in a certain style isn't cool...

Which reminds me of digital identity...like the blogs of the writers who only talk about writer-ly things. Though I respect many of these kinds of blogs, I'm skeptical of others. I'm wondering if all this digital identity isn't just perpetuating stereotypes and locking writers (and teachers) into these oversimplified personifications of their traditional roles. Aren't we all more dynamic than that?

Bleu beckons from this kennel.

Perhaps next time I'll discuss another idea I've had: "Pimp My Kennel."

Survivor

In two days I ran out of a brand new box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids.

Bleu is teething, and apparently I'm a tasty treat.

We stopped yelling and started walking out of the room when he begins to play rough.

It seems to work.

He gets sad and paces around. But he's nicer when he wants attention next time.

~

I know I have a rich intellectual life. But I just don't feel like it's there right now. Everything I do or say right now seems to involve Bleu. And when I have time to myself, my mind wanders to him. I like it, but I don't.

I can't imagine what it's like to have a kid.

I know it's different, but still it has to feel the same in some regards...

~

Lost returns this week. I'm all over that.

~

And this week I will be thinking about somethings other than Bleu: AWP in NY. My best wishes are with Car and her panel. You rock their worlds, girl. Represent the Why and Later!

Also, I'm thinking of my grandfather and the family...

~

Back to work. While sometimes thinking about Bleu...and a lot of other things I'm not articulating well.

I am Loved After All...Nonetheless in Hello Kitty Style

Like any other day, I woke up around 8, did yoga, & ate my yogurt with flax/bran cereal and maple syrup.

Then I cleaned my closet and purged some old clothes to make room for new ones from Boden. Thank you, Johnnie Boden for your 50% off sale. I adore you.

But the day felt hectic and rushed when I realized that while in my clothing keep-or-go-? mode, it was already noon, and student portfolios were available at 1. (If you want to see what the portfolio process is all about watch this video. Guess who the narrator is...?)

From 1:30-5 p.m. I sat in my East Hall office, eagerly awaiting students to collect their passing portfolios and end the semester of Fall 2007. (Meaning, I played on Facebook the entire time. Did you know you can now use present tense verbs instead of passive ones? That kinda of made my day.) Anyways, many students came, collected, and conquered 111. But one did more.

One gave me PRESENTS. (Yes, with an S!) A Hello Kitty fleece throw and Hello Kitty slippers. (Ones so special I can't find them online!)

SCORE!

I'm sure you've all guessed I get greedy around Christmas; I can't help it. I start buying presents for loved ones, only to find loads of "things" I want. It's bad. I know.

And when I talk to my sister-in-laws about gifts they bought for their kids' teachers or day care helpers (do they have an official title I don't know about?), I always complain that my students never buy me gifts, especially this time of year. Seriously, the ONLY reason I would ever teach at the elementary level is for the gifts, which I probably wouldn't get after the parents realized their kids learned a little too much adult language from me...

But I had a student care enough to give the best--Hello Kitty. And right around Christmas! My greed lessened quite a bit today.

And to boot, when I got home I got another PRESENT from SEM, which put me even more into Hello Kitty heaven. Dude, a mix CD covered in HK stickers! Does life get better?

Why, yes, it does! Because the book that I ordered months ago on Amazon that I've been not-so-patiently waiting for arrived: Rachel Zucker's The Bad Wife Handbook: Poems! I ADORED her last book, and I'm so stoked for this one I can handle sit still long enough to write this post. Seriously, I'm wiggling all around trying to type fast enough so I can curl up with my HK throw, my glass of Cab, & The Bad Wife Handbook while I listen to my new sweet mix from SEM.

F! This day would have only been better if two things had happened: we got our black lab puppy (more on him soon) and I got my new threads from Boden.

But it's good to have somethings to look forward to, right? It means more good days to come!

For Real Sick. Gross. But with a Sunny Disposition.

For the past three days I've been out of commission with the flu. No fun.

I missed out on some really important plans: I love you, Noodles.

I am, however, caught up on The Hills and all my previously recorded shows on Tivo. I also had time to finish one horrible book not worth mentioning and begin one that is worth mentioning but not right now.

I might be sick, but I still have my ability to create suspense.

(The hint, though, is this: FD and I might be getting a very special Christmas present this year, and NO, I'm not pregnant.)

Being that I couldn't take another day of lying around, I got up and decorated our Christmas trees in my PJs as well as strung my Hello Kitty Christmas lights around the windows in my office. I've been rocking out to some Christmas classics as well as new Christmas tunes by Aimee Mann and Sufjan Stevens. If you don't have the Christmas box set of his, it's a MUST BUY.

Decorating and singing along to "We Three Kings," I felt pretty good. But I now, as I write this, I'm feeling tired again.

Dude, I hate being sick.

Two things I've been thinking about. Real quick.

The movie The Fountain sucks. I think it's too hippy-ed out for its own good, so much so that it distracts from its overly contrived message and acid-trip cinematography (that is at times lovely). FD and I watched it last night and had a huge discussion about it right afterwards and when we were trying to go to sleep. I'm too tired to give an in-depth review of it. But I'm totally sick of these movies that end and nothing happens, nothing is resolved or the ending is so indie it's all symbolic. Seriously, what's up with that? I told FD I'd rather watch Superbad or Knocked Up any day over this horrible shit these hipster directors call movies. Someone, please recommend some quality indie movies to me that disprove my skepticism. I like I Heart Huckabees and The Royal Tenenbaums. Wristcutters: A Love Story and The Science of Sleep look good, but am I going to be disappointed again? I guess when you're as smart and skeptical as me and FD, blockbuster movies are best movies for us to watch--we know what we're going to get, and, sometimes, they're even better than expected like Transformers...I guess I just like music more than movies. I might like TV more than movies too...I'm sure I'll revisit this issue again soon.

Second, Christmas shopping has begun. This year I'm ahead of schedule, but I still have a quite a few presents to get. My goal, usually, is to get loved ones what they want from their lists. I don't like to stray too much because when I have I've been broken-hearted by the initial-frown-before-the-faux-smile expressions. However, when I do deviate from the list, I try to go homemade and/or independent. Here are some BOSS sites you might want to check out for your loved ones:

Lemon Cadet: Rockin' the Bean, Bunny, and Yeti goods for kids, ladies, and men since 2006. I can't stop thinking about this Bunny hoodie. Oh my!

One Good Bumblebee: Gnome Jack-in-the-Box!?!? How rad is that?!?!

Redbird: Stokes bought me some of these totally unique concert posters for my birthday, and now I check out this site like every day. I'm waiting the Sufjan poster!!!

Haworth Homemade: Some loved ones might really like that snazzy TV cover...

The Grey Colt: If you're not from the Cleveland/Akron area, you can always call the ladies at the Grey Colt, and they'll help you find the perfect something for your special someone. If you are from the area, head in and support this local business that is so totally rad and unique!

OK, I need another nap.

I'm thinking tonight some soup and Elf with only our Christmas trees lights on...

BEFORE I TOTALLY FORGET: Check out this Scene article about Fafarazzi. Both Stokes and me are quoted. How rad is that?!?! And it's even more rad that the journalist quoted my most foul answer rather than one of my funny ones!

So Sick, It's Sick!

The HK Credit Card.

Just when I thought I was getting out of debt, I'm pulled back in.

I'm delightfully disgusted that HK is encouraging her "friends" to "CHARGE IT!"